Nothing like a death of a loved one to make you reevaluate your life. Yesterday was a tough day. I just felt very tired of the Army. We are in a place I would never choose to live, I am tired of making friends only for them to become long distant friends, I am tired of my kids changing schools, Dylan has attened 6 in the past 6.5 years, Tyler 3 in the past 1.5 years. More than anything it has taken us away from family. My kids so wanted to spend Christmas at Grandma and Grandpa's but we thought there was a ever so slight chance we might get into housing so we hurried here. Hindsight being 20/20 it was a very bad choice.
Terry only has a little over 3 years till "20" but I am assuming it will be more like at least 6.

Most of you reading this didn't know Kirk. So I thought I would share some memories. Kirk was born August 9, 1985 the year I graduated from High School. That made it easy to remember both his age and how long I had been out of school. I returned home alot during college and always saw my nephews and niece. Kirk was a wonderful baby and a delightful toddler. We just knew he was saving up for later. For some reason we started calling him Kirkie Rabbit. It stuck even though I remember his mother telling us not to call him that because if Derek (age 18 months) started calling him that it would never go away. In the end it was his mother that couldn't help but call him Kirkie Robert Rabbit. I remember him watching Cinderella and when the mice and birds sew up the dress and sing that song he would run and dance and giggle.
It was pretty clear from early on Kirk was going to be the cowboy. Derek (his brother) never did like the boots, hats and such. I have a picture of Derek and Kirk on horses when they were young, Derek is slouching, Kirk sitting up as tall as he possibly can. They also constantly played basketball together. They had a goal set up in the barn. Any spare time they had was spend playing one on one. They both turned out to be excellent ball players.
Kirk was 11 when I had Dylan, they (Derek, Kirk and Ashlee) couldn't wait to see him. I spent about a month with my parents after he was born and the kids would have held him the whole time had I let them. Derek and Kirk even changed his diaper once, Grandma's couch was never the same after the Desitin and powder. Kirk was the same way with Tyler when he was a baby. He just had to be holding him.
Kirk was a senior in High School when Terry went to Iraq and the kids and I went back to NM to stay with my parents. Kirk had had a rough year his junior year and I think having the kids around perked him up. Tyler was going to preschool at the same school as Kirk and often if I couldn't take him, we would load him up with Kirk. I think Tyler formed a very special bond with him that year . Kirk was probably the first man to hold Jason. Every time he came to visit he had to hold the baby. I think that is one reason Jason did so well when we finally got back to Germany and he was so comfortable around Terry. When Kirk went to Church he would always sit with the kids and I. And he wouldn't leave them alone. Always bugging them. Finally an older lady that sat behind us told his mom, quit letting Kirk sit with them, all he does is pester them. Dylan reminded me on the plane ride home how Kirk would call him Dilman. "How ya doing Dilman" and then poke him in the chest or tackle him.
I was able to see Kirk play football, wow, how did he learn to move like that? I was also able to see him play basketball. He played sports like he lived life always going 90 miles an hour, there was no stopping him on the field or on the court once he made up his mind he was going somewhere.
The last time I saw him was in November when we made the trip to NM after finding out we were moving to NY. He had several things going on, but came to see us one night while we were there. He had brought his new puppy (Gus) and another puppy from the litter. He was the same old Kirk, playing with the kids and hanging with Uncle Terry.

Kirk had a magnetic personality, you couldn't help but smile at him even though he was a man of few words. There was just something about him. At the Funeral the Priest talked about how a 22 year old could fill a Church with people he impacted in some way. He doubted that even his funeral would fill a Church. A long time family friend commented at the graveside services that he had never seen that many people gathered before. The first night at my parents house I woke up and couldn't sleep. I prayed that night for Kirk to watch over my kids and keep them safe. What I didn't know was that the first night after my brother and sister-in-law got the news that they also had talked about it and felt that God needed Kirk to watch over all the children.

Kirk made some bad choices in life, the biggest was not wearing a seat belt the night of the accident. Most likely it would have saved his life and spared us this incredible sadness.

Can I say how much I love my new electric blanket from Lands End. I have no idea how it works, it is not warm to the touch, but when you are under it you feel warmth. The tag on it says that all electric blankets are made that way. Who knew? So as the temperature dropped to - 5 degrees last night, I was very toasty under my blanket.

My brother sang this song at the funeral at the request of Ashlee, Kirk's little sister.

May God bless you and be with you in this time of deep sorrow. In the tears of others, know that God weeps with you. In the touch of others, know that God's arms are holding you. In the practical work of others, know that God is helping you to cope from day to day. In the words of others, know that God is speaking to you. In the prayers of others, know that God hears you. And in the desolation of this time, know that by each tear, touch, act, word, and prayer, others are bringing God's love to you to filter into those empty spaces with God's compassion and understanding.

Marjorie Dobson

My mom just happened to pick up this little pamplet last night that came with their Catholic Digest. She opened it to the middle and this was the first thing she read. How comforting it is.

Kirk died in a car accident on Sunday morning February 18th. He was only 22 years old. He was my nephew as well as my Godson. His family has always lived on and worked the ranch here in New Mexico. Kirk was currently working along side his father on the ranch. Terry, the kids and I traveled to NM on Wednesday to be with family and attend the funeral.

I will post more when we get back to NY. Please pray for my family as we try to make sense of this tragic accident.

Again this year I gave up Adult beverages for Lent. So far so good (except for the wives coffee where a glass of wine was set in front of me and I couldn't let it go to waste). Unfortunately for me my next door neighbor Jenny and good friend Maggie started me on Cosmopolitans in Kansas. In the commissary they sell this Cosmo mixer and I now have a new favorite drink. Don't worry girls I won't give up Margaritas completely. I might mention that my Hooah husband also likes them. So come visit (after Lent) and I will make you a Cosmo NY style.

I am happy to report that overnight we recived another 8+ inches of snow. And yes there is another Artic cold front headed our way. Here are some more photos of the kids and snow. It is tough here to get a picture without snow. Most of these pictures were taken a few days ago. Only the ones of Dylan by the Tahoe and his new path and the dog are new as of today.

I just wanted to give a little plug for Lands End. A couple of years ago my Mother gave me an Electric blanket from Lands End. We loved it, but didn't use it much in California, after moving to Kansas we discovered it wasn't heating at the top as much as the bottom, so I called Lands End and they didn't hestitate to send out another one. After moving here to NY (where we really need it)we discovered again that it wasn't heating at the top again. Today I called Lands End again to ask for another one and after putting me on hold for a minute or two someone came on the line and said, well we don't sell that one anymore, we came out with a new one because there were some issues with that one. She said I could have another one of the old ones or try the new & improved brand new one. I of course chose the new one since I wasn't having much luck with the old one. Again it will be sent to me at no cost and they will pay for my old one to be shipped back.

Have I mentioned that the buses that pick up Dylan and Tyler pull right up to our driveway, so the boys only have to walk 30 feet or so to get on the bus. Almost better than our prime location at Fort Leavenworth, but better because they aren't squished on the bus like Sardines. No bus problems here. And the bus is always on time. It really is nice.

Because of where we live they are about the last kids on the bus so they don't have to get up as early.

Today is the beginning of Lent. For those of you who really don't know why Catholics celebrate Lent I am attaching a nice little article about Lent. WHAT IS LENT. I have several things I am giving up, but more importantly I want to renew my faith in several different ways. What are you doing for your Faith?

After a day of rain and a very warm temperature of 44 degrees we woke up to at least another 6 inches of snow. Terry and Dylan have been very good about clearing off the deck, as of yesterday with all the rain it was completly clean, just wet. Well today is another story. Kids are home again from school. And any snow that melted yesterday was replaced two fold. Here are some more snow pictures and to those of you who say "Well it must be very pretty" it is. Can I also say that I am ever so thankful we have two four wheel drive vehicles. If you are coming to Fort Drum you must have at least 1. In many parts of the country if it snows this much you stay home, here you still have to go to work and such. Thank goodness we have a very nice neighbor who comes over and has a tracter with a snow blower attached and he clears a path to the road.

Please take a look at this article and let me know if you are offended by this picture that they are refering to. Abercrombie & Fitch I have been in Abercrombie & Fitch a few times myself and I have to admit that I have to check out all the pictures, but would I find them offensive? NO, kids see more butt crack then that when the plumber comes to the house and how about those low rise jeans that are so popular, you can not bend down at all in them and not show half your @##.

Wow did you see that game last night? Neither Terry nor I are big football fans. I watch more college, to see how Notre Dame is doing and to give friends a hard time when their teams loose. We decided to turn it on and then we could not quit watching it. It was such a great game and I found myself rooting for Eli Manning and the NY Giants. (Probably doesn't hurt being in NY) It was great to see the underdog doing so well and when they went ahead in the 4th quarter I started to belive they might do it, but there was so much time left on the clock (and yes I was this much into it last night.) Of coure you knew Brady would score, that's what great quarterbacks do. When the Giants got the ball back I said "Well at least it was a great game." Never expecting them to score. I even said a little prayer, let them have their miracle and they did when Manning escaped the sack and Tyree was able to hold onto that ball. Did you see that catch? Oh my gosh it was amazing. I kept thinking he didn't have control, but then they showed the replay and he actually did have some control. So now I get to be a Giants fan for the next 3 or 4 years.

GO Giants

Today is another weather filled day here in Upstate NY. Right now it is snowing very hard. The forcast is that we will start getting ice or sleet later. Won't that be fun? I think every school in a 100 mile radius is closed today. This is the second time this week. No wonder the kids go to school till late June. They have a week off in two weeks. I think they do that because if they didn't they would be at home any way because of the weather.
I remember in Germany the last winter we were there when it snowed every day just a little so that we kept at least 2 inches on the ground for like 6 weeks. I had never been anywhere where the snow did not melt within a week of falling. In Colorado we might get a foot of snow, but within two weeks it was gone....
So if you like snow Fort Drum is the place to be. I personnally think Hawaii might be at the top of our next assignment list.